An open letter to the gay community

I was looking back through my posts to see if I have any new input on things, and found this draft from a year ago.  I don’t recall why I did not post it back then, but it still seems to have value today, so here it is.

 

Congratulations, you have made great progress in social standing.  It appears that you have even achieved your “holy grail” of legal marriage.  You seem to enjoy a fairly wide based acceptance; not universal, of course, but likely by the majority.

Why endanger your progress?  There are a few in the community who seem bent on taking you from an acceptable subset of society to a danger.  If you want to avoid becoming tarred with the brush of extremism, much like Muslims have to deal with the onus of the radical Muslims, it might be in your long term best interests to weed out your own extremists while you are still on the upswing.

Whatever am I talking about, you ask?  I heard someone relate a troubling story today; I cannot verify if it is true or accurate.  If it is true, it shows how a few of your community could make yourselves appear to be a danger to society at large.

The fellow claimed to be a DJ at a club, and happened to make a comment that the Supreme Court was not doing its job correctly.  A U.S. marine came up to him and said that someone in his party was offended  and asked the DJ what he had against gay marriage.  The DJ explained that he did not say anything about gay marriage; that he personally was for it, but did not think that the Supreme Court should have quashed States Rights.  That is, that gay marriage should be decided at the state level, not at the federal level.  The marine threatened that if the DJ did not apologize, the marine would beat him up.  The DJ then broadcast an apology.

Problem number one, a person made a statement of opinion without any indication it had to do with gay marriage, yet someone assumed it was an attack on gay marriage and was “offended”.  Perhaps they would have been wiser and more social to not assume it was any kind of attack on them.  And even if it was, keep it in perspective.  After all, I’ll bet the person couldn’t care less if anyone was “offended” by THEIR position on gay marriage.

Problem number two, they sicced a U.S. Marine onto the “offender” in an effort to either extort an apology or “punish” him.  This is unconscionable and illegal.  In this case, both the marine and the offended person lucked out; the DJ would have been within his rights to have called the police.  A threat of violence is legally an assault, and to ask the marine to do it would seem to be conspiracy. But ignoring that, to use violence or even the threat of it to punish an opposing viewpoint is unacceptable behavior.

Despite the DJ’s apology and explanation, the party of the offended person went to the manager and raised a fuss, getting a refund of their cover charge (10 people at $6 each) and then the group left.  At the end of the night, the manager was hostile until the DJ was able to explain what happened.  Even so, the manager only paid him half his fee, cancelled his next nights gig, and indicated that his continued presence was in doubt.

Problem three, even though the DJ explained what he meant and apologized, the offended person still continued after him, costing him money and putting his livelihood in jeopardy.  Punishing him for even the appearance of having a dissenting opinion.

It seems highly likely that the offended person is a member of the gay community.  Who else could possibly act so viciously at so tenuous a dig at gay marriage?  And what was the result?  One person, who did not even disagree with gay marriage, was punished.

If you attack someone who does not see you have valid reason to do so, you make an enemy of them.  You make enough enemies, and your favored status may become reversed.  Right now, you are winning most of your encounters, because a majority of people are for you or at least not against you.  But what happens if 80% of the population fears you, because you attack anyone who even looks like they might disagree with you?  Don’t you think that you will start losing encounters?

Don’t you think it would be better to treat the people who disagree with you with at least the same amount of courtesy they treat you with?

 

Was this story a complete fabrication or an exaggeration?  Perhaps; perhaps not.  Is it likely?  I don’t know; I can believe possibility of the alleged behavior by every character except the Marine.  The behavior ascribed to him would seem to be un-Marinely at best and incredibly stupid and a bit criminal at worst.  But even if this story is complete balderdash, it does show how a group could arrange to eventually be hoist on their own petard.

 

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Gay Church Weddings?

It is likely that “everyone” has heard by now that the Supreme Court has issued the opinion that gay couples have the same right to marriage to each other that heterosexual couples do.  It would be possible, but hardly useful, to discuss the validity of this opinion.

Let us instead, consider one result of this ruling.  It is highly likely that there will be at least one gay couple who will stroll into a church and request to be married there.  And if the church in question holds to the belief that homosexual marriage is prohibited by God, then there is an opportunity for problems.

Now why did the couple want to get married in the church?  I can think of only three reasons:

– They want their union to be blessed by God

– They want to thumb their noses at the church and hope to cause it damage or even close it down

– They don’t really want to but there is some external pressure (like from parents) to do so

If the church selected does not hold the belief that God frowns on homosexual marriages, then problems (in this world) are unlikely, and the first or third reasons should seem to be able to satisfied, and the second reason would not apply (unless the couple were really obtuse). Of course, there will be some who are anti-God or at least anti-church, and deliberately choose a church they feel sure will refuse them so a fuss can be made.

In that case, the church has four possible responses:

– Deny their beliefs and agree to the ceremony, which according to their beliefs will result in them being whacked by God

– Hold to their beliefs and refuse to perform the ceremony, which according to the current social climate, will get them whacked by the media and the government.

– Have a rigorous pre-marital program designed to get the couple “right with God” before scheduling the ceremony, which could only be achieved by the couple coming to the belief that God would be against their marriage, with the alternative solution that the couple would eventually give up on the ceremony in that church

– Perform a non-religious (civil) ceremony

Something like:

Friends, we have been invited here today to share with ______ and ______ a very important moment in their lives. In the years they have been together, their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and now they have decided to live their lives together as married spouses.

For the opening prayer or reading, Bible verses, of course, would not be appropriate, unless the church felt the need to gently point out their view on God’s opinion of the ceremony.  This would be difficult to do without incurring the same wrath that refusing to perform the ceremony would result in, and is really kind of twinky.  If the church agrees (or is forced) to do the ceremony, they should at least live up to the standards of a justice of the peace.

Then there is usually a “definition” of marriage, pointing out the benefits and responsibilities. This can be as usual, showing how marriage is a social, and legal contract between two individuals that unites their lives legally, economically, and emotionally. The contractual marriage agreement usually implies that the couple has legal obligations to each other throughout their lives or until they decide to divorce.  Leave out any reference to sexual relations or indicate that despite the marriage ceremony, homosexual sex is believed to be rejected by God, that is, even being legally married does not guarantee that God accepts gay sex).

For instance:

Now it is generally held that by being married, sexual relations between spouses is approved of by man and God.  However, there are indications that God does not accept sexual relations between people of the same sex under any circumstances.  Therefore, be aware that sexual activity after this ceremony is likely to be exactly as legal and moral as it was before this ceremony.

The rest of the ceremony can be pretty much standard, avoiding any reference to God or holiness.  In particular, “What God has put together, let no man put asunder” and “By the authority granted to me by God…” should be definitely left out.

Some gay people believe in God and some do not.  It seems like it would be difficult to believe in the God of the Bible and to also believe that a traditional church wedding would be appropriate, but there are all types.  I suspect that the desire in some cases is not for the wedding, but to attack the church, as the worst elements of the gay community have already done to bakers and photographers.